My husband and are Christians and for 42 years served God, attended church, and shared our love for Christ. Making arrangements. I have encountered a similar cat behavior like this tho. If your cat is doing something you don't want them to do, remove them from the situation and redirect their attention onto something they can do. Ann accountant? Now I am alone and the house is so quiet. It was 8 months of almost constant pain, nausea and fatigue. This is the hardest thing i have ever been through and can be frightening and overwhelming. May your relationship with God become stronger, and may Jesus be the rock that you cling to. Maybe you want to talk about your husband more or maybe you talk to him all the time! I cant concentrate but also now do not have medical insurance and may need medication but not sure. I have no magic cure, just understanding and compassion. As you stated, many of us have no one in our lives that a) know how to help, b) want to help, or c) *can* help. We were married 30 years, and now I feel like half of me is missing. There is life after we lose our spouse; though not the life we chose or wanted. You know what we do to dogs that repeatedly attack people? You can still use this forum to respond to me with any of your thoughts!!! He came around just long enough to recognize me then smiled and took his last breath. I was almost offended when I heard him say that the first time! I am very lonely and I wish I had better family support. He drowned trying to save me, when I fell off of the boat we were on. Wash your dog's bedding weekly. He had a heart defect we found out about 5 years ago. My heart goes out to you. He suffered severe and now Im having guilt because I maybe did not help him enough I did all I could for the four years he had this so why does this guilt come on me and break my heart so much I sit here alone and wonder about it all and want to leave this place and move far away. Your husband would want you to go on with your life. I know he is in Heave with my dad and his dad. We have to be these days. It will be 3 years next mouth. But, especially at the end of the day before dinner. He was my hero. May you reach out and find support and love in your friends and family. Right then and there he made his last breath. I come home from church weeping, not wanting to face the rest of the day and night in utter isolation. Its just the weirdest thing!! I have two daughters in college; they want me to keep the house. We will never be the same. The trust theory I am only 44. A topic No one wants to talk about, so being remembered by a fellow widow has meant alot. Since the pandemic, I am feeling again the intense pain of the loss, grief and a loneliness that seems insurmontable. Have someone on tap for house repairs. I also had to remove my husband from life support dur to a head injury after he fell off of scaffolding at work. However, the loss of a spouse AND having to parent on your own is totally overwhelming. I feel so lost without him. Beyond a ball of yarn, there are plenty of other ways to entertain and bond with a cat. He was just 45he is my lifeI miss him so much..We were married for 18 years, together for 19. Your lap is just as warm as their mothers belly was, so your adult cat could be kneading on you to relive the comfort and security of the time they spent nursing. Not him, but the grief pain. If he ever does that to me again I'll drown him in the toilet. He had other dates. I have no interest in them knowing that I had an exceptional man, he took such good care of me that I dont have a whole lot of miles. We made plans! Antonella. My son leaves me alone. But traveling alone or with a friend is just not the same. I remarried too quickly and have been unhappy. And every single day we told each other we loved each other every other sentence. I feel I know you a long time already. Ive used it for years. Good luck. I trust in the Lord. He passed on Nov 27. When yours is curled up in the sun, you may hear a gentle rumble as they breathe in and out. I also thought of something last night after my husbands loss to covid 2 weeks ago. We are here for you whenever you need to vent and I think thats very important. I miss him but I am doing alright. Jer. He was going bad (lost vision out of right eye, had a shuffled gait, increased restlessness and pain) but because he had so many specialists, they didnt see the big picture. We would have been married 6 years in July 16, 2022. While most people find it shocking and amusing when a surprisingly severe cat attack is caught on video, such incidences probably occur more often than people realize. One thing I dont know if I mentioned, but I write my husband at least once a month. Who in their right mind would bend down and risk injury to their face and arms in an attempt to grab the aggressive cat? I hated coming home to an empty house. The most dangerous animals on the planet are, wait for itHumans, and particularly those of your ilk. I dont relate EVERYTHING to his death even though it is still painful. I truly am having a bad time even though i have my sons and sisters that surround me with love every day, Today moving forward i am going to try and take your advice. Just things like I had to do this morning getting the car title changed, she hands me a new plate and I said so I have to have a new plate and she says yes and the renewal will be on your birthday now. Please dont be angry at God. They both lost their husbands last year and feel the same as me. Hang in there and good luck. I am learning to take one day at a time, and hope one day that the pain of losing my husband will ease. I lost my love my life my best friend my everything My husband. Still, I feel all the more alone. A companion more than anything. I searched for groups to join but nothing was out there. I dont even understand why he left and how someone so caring, giving and wonderful would be taken so quickly. I told him I loved him and the last thing he said to me was that he loved me. My cat loves to knead on my lap. Im 28 years old and lost my husband of nearly 9 years in January 1 month after beind diagnosed with a grade 4 brain tumour the size of a tennis ball. I have turned away from the church. Hi Kathy, My husband passed of 41 years, ( 6 yrs ) dating before marrage . It has helped me. My husband died in 2005 so this was the second time for me and I am 54. Unless you experienced such separation by death they have no idea. Your words were exact! God bless you both. I have a cousin and his wife who live in the same town, much younger than me. Phone and tablet applications to keep your cat entertained. She was my truest friend and my true love. Shortly after he returned home from Afghanistan he was diagnosed with stage 3 advanced metastatic breast cancer. He was only 52. I love to cook and end up giving it away. I look at it as another day closer to being reunited with him. I still have days like you describe. When she came on heat I tried getting her spayed but she had a reaction to the anaesthesia so I had to get her mated. After that, whenever you are able to move out, move, but frequently visit her (5-7 times a week the first week, 4-6 times the second week, 3-5 times the next week, then 2-4, 1-3, then settle into a every-other-week to 2 times a week routine. Inside I feel hopeless and alone. I know how overwhelming it all is, especially in the very beginning. If I try to touch him he reacts in a disturbed manner. Life is so very difficult. Avoid watching the news or other programs that distress or depress you. I am lost, lonely, angry, frightened, sad (oh so very sad) and without a rudder. Prayers and hugs from me to you. After reading its seven years since your husband died and you still cry I realize I must accept that this could be me as well. Im sure your husband is with Gid, but all of our souls need prai, especially after death. I also would wake up and write David letters in a journal. Still have an income business which I like but dont have my mojo for it. A better place was by my side. I have to push myself every day to get through it. I must admit this journey that we are all on, is very unexpected ive learned to honor our lost ones, with good and bad times. After all life does go on and wed better enjoy our new role before we join our spouse once again. My husband died in 2013 then the following week his mother died. I dont have many ( if any ) friends. Rebecca, I am so sorry. I feel I am finally free! Wash your dog's bedding weekly. I beleive that, This keep me going each and everyday. Yes, but empty inside. And on top of everything that Im going through, my husbands daughters blame me for his death. I hv read many of the comments from all of you ladies, I am in the same situation. At times I feel going on without my husband and maybe smiling is disrespect to Steve. We were married 27 years. Mind boggling and life changing. Thank you. It just hit me like a brick. Our loved ones dont want us to suffer. He said he will be fine. My only solace is knowing I will be reunited with my husband and loved ones and finally meeting my God. I miss him so much. I miss my husband so much. I love what you said by Gods grace and compassion we go on. I also hate night time because my pain increases then. Peggy, My sympathies for your loss. His tool belt still hangs in the Walk-in mud room. Cin. A "mild mannered cat" does not do this, period. Now you said youd do it, now lets see you do it. Dont you crowd me now; you better look out. Well, you said youd do itwhy dont you do it? By jingo! Find a group to attend that will give you insight and lift you up. We both had terrific men. I just want the pain that Im feeling to go away. I woke up this morning and I said Thank you Lord for another day Then I said good morning to my husband picture. My birthday is 11/27 & I avoided it completely. I know it is very selfish because we have a child and I love our son so much!! However, my job was elimanated the end of December. God Bless Us, One and All. He had diabetes and heart issues, getting pneumonia along with it didnt help. I reach for him & his side of the bed is empty, I cant sleep in there, I am in a guest room. I am past expecting the intensity of the grief to end, but also refuse to be sorry for it any longer. I read this which was true: I AM BOTH THE PERSON WHO I USED TO BE, A PERSON WITH A SET OF MEMORIES FROM BEFORE, AND A NEW PERSON, ONE WHO SEES AND EXPERIENCES THE WORLD FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENTLY I AM BOTH THE SAME AND RADICALLY ALTERED THE WORLD IS BOTH AS IT ALWAYS WAS AND FOREVER CHANGED. ive noticed that my new cat is kneading a lot, he comes and kneads on my arms, then my boyfriends arms or chest and of course the blanket and mattress. It is hard and painful. Ok Weird but Ok. You grieve at your own pace. Not only did you lose your husband, you lost what the life you thought you had with him. Its been my experience that what you want happens when you least expect it. I have two teens to take care of. I found myself doing the most odd things; putting what I thought was lotion on for weeks, it was special hand soap, I put creamer in the coffee maker instead of coffee(laugh ladies) I laugh out loud when these things happen instead of crying! (I was in the minority of Male attendees). Ray was 73. A month and half after the kittens, she returned to her former self. Tomorrow is two months and I have ok days but do realize that nothing will ever be the same. I found him in our garage in the front seat of his car. You can't train a cat the same way you train a dog. My husband died almost two months ago. I recently lost my beloved to Colon Cancer 95 days ago (yes, my life is boiled down to counting by the days). I just feel defeated. My husband of 36 years died in 2013 after battling bone marrow cancer for 15 years. The purrs don't sound the same. He looks so wise and caring like a little masseur! Cat kneading may happen for the following reasons: Some animal experts suggest the behavior of kneading began with wild female cats that kneading was involved in preparing nests among tall grass and leaves before giving birth or for the purpose of resting after a day of hunting. Re-injured my rotator cuff doing something I shouldnt have, so I also go to therapy for that 2 days a week. Came home on the Friday with only 15% heart function. The hugs , kisses, holding hands making love and just spending time together thats when i have the hardest time. They were always being brushed daily in his chair. Unlike large animals who need plenty of space to play fetch or run around, all you need with a cat is your living room and a little imagination. Or that it's the only time you'll hear it. Your recommendation to take time to grieve seems wise. I keep the outside lights on at night and have a house alarm. My cat is really aggresive towards my grown up son, for no reason at all, im so scared i will have to get rid of her but she also spits at everyone that comes to my flat, the only person she seems to like is me, im scared she will do real bad damage to my so she has only been like this for the past year, i ha e had her since she was a kitten she is now 5 years old, please help. Those were great years! We never know the cries of our loved ones. He was the.best thing that happened to me. I too have lost my husband. I dont know how Im going to go on without him. She knew she needed help and hope for living alone after her husbands death but had never owned a dog before. We have to keep on keeping on. If in doubt, consider the University of Lincoln study tactfully titled Domestic Cats Do Not Show Signs of Secure Attachment to Their Owners. I cant compete with a woman the age of our kid! He was the Love of my Life! To. Marie, My heart goes out to you. Are you getting my weekly Blossom Tips? Melinda, its funny but sad at the same time. Why cats make great pets. Family members have been spending the night each night, but its hard to keep doing that and we are afraid it may keep her from adjusting. Nothing works for everyone! Anyway, if you would like to talk my email is phillmonica@frontie.com, I am sure God is watching out for us. He will show you how to forgive yourself because He took our sins upon Himself and forgives everyone of us. I pray that you can feel your husband spirit close to you. Theres no one reason why your cat might lick you. He left them! Gods blessings to all. Today I had to give away something he loved.. a huge drafting table. One thing I can say as I read the comments is that we are all in the same boat. It helps me by sharing with others and just getting it out of my head. How do I know when to let her go back to her house and stay alone? She very good to me and I would be totally lost without her. Bonus: your cats will love you for planting catnip seriously. I wanted to ask you when you felt like you had some light or joy in your day. The loneliness and emptiness is horrible. It was too painful to be alive without him. I have a new kitten and he kneads all over me, rubs, rolls on mehe loves me! He was faithful during the time he was alive. Im trying to remain positive and have tons of good memories. She doesnt believe in counsling , that sent their generation. We can learn how strong we are by moving forward. I pray for strength every day. It is a gift! At that time i had three children and on adopted granddaughter. Thank you for posting your situation its quite helpful & reassuring. There is always going to be sad times, that is life. So crushed. I wont go to far into details, but came home from work to our apartment wed shared for over 5 years to find him unconscious and without a pulse on our floor. Melissa A Smith (author) from New York on August 06, 2020: Vicky Cook: Not sure, you should contact a behaviorist. Take care of yourself, and stay open to Gods love, healing, power, and freedom. He was my best friend. Emotionally I feel connected to him in this way. We have connect groups at our church and I am in overcoming trauma. A dog will not replace my husband. Its only been just over 3 months. I found comfort in your article. Dianna. I miss his sense of humor and yes even our disagreements . Its heartbreaking to see his pain get worse with every day. Then 3 weeks later my son died of an apparent seizure. I never thot I make it, but now Im approaching 7 years without him, it is still hard, but Ive learned to accept it. Steve lived to make my life easier and now without him, its a million % harder. Had to list everyone I have ever lived with. You are not alone. Thank you for making me feel a little better, Im so devastated after a life of 52yrs of joy with my Husband , we did everything together we truly were joined at the HIP , I cant imagine doing anything without him .my word for all of this would be Diabolical , I lost my partner of 10 yrs on August 17th 2017 its been 6 weeks now, I cant stop crying I miss him so much, he left behind a 6 yr old son and a 8 yr old daughter, my son is special needs and keeps see in men that look like his dad, he shouts for him but of course they dont answer to which he says why he not talk to me I feel my heart cracking every time, I have family of sorts, my mum knew he was dying but I havent heard or seen from her for over a yr, shes even changed her mobile number so I cant ring her, that makes me sad as she cant even be here for her little grandchildren. Neither young enough to start over or senior enough to retire I am trying to build a social circle of adult friends but then I lose Hope fast My loss was very complicated anf traumatic Happy to chat offline if it helps anyone Thanks and hugs Mel, Hi I wondered if anyone would like to support each other online as friends I have no family in this country ( Canada ) and would really value getting to know people who are going through the loss of a loved one My husband was my best friend , soulmate and my family Without him I am lost If anyone wants a friend to chat to and offer support I am here Those who are not experiencing grief often cant grasp the depth of that feeling and thats why supporting each other might help I am avid skier , cat person , artist anf dancer so lots to chat about on our good days too My email address is ellaverling@yahoo.com Thanks Mel, Im very sad and depressed at times after my 51 year marriage ended with my husband passing away -I sometimes dont think I can live through this -I struggle every day -He was my deepest love ,and he and I were so grateful for each other-Sometimes I I feel I am still in shock .I look for his hand next to me in bed- I will persevere and have hope my life will be happy again -He would want that I know-He has been gone 10 months-, I lost my husband bit to death but to paranoid psychosis We have a 4 year old child that he was the main carer of , now I have to care for our son in addition to supporting my husband financially and working full time in a busy job I search for online advice and I am tired of the same stuff look after yourself , connect with family and friends , join a support group , join an evening class , take a road trip Where I am at is I am lost My husnand and I were together since were were teenagers and I am 53 with no family in this country None of the above advice makes sense to me What is the point in looking after yourself when you have nothing to looks forward to , how exactly do you connect with family when you dont have any , and making new friends when you are a woman in her fifties with a 4 year old is not an easy task , personally I find most people have their own friends and I am not part of that , road trips are just a horrible idea that sharpens my grief as it was something we enjoyed together a lot Nothing helps me at all. This particular grouping of plants is enough to keep the bugs away on their own no spray needed. That has almost destroyed my son. Try to find some counselor who will help you with the regrets. Their stories were inspiring and uplifting. Look forward. Please realize there is no sexual stimuli for us at all, just bad manly humor emoting from the man I thought was such a sweet gentleman!! some days I feel I cant live without my husband and cry. Viciously. We were married almost 27 years. thanks Antonella I got address here is mine audreymegs@gmail.com, Hello My husband died on 7 March 2018 last year from stomach cancer. Im not quite sure what to tell Bud about this behavior but I dont really want him to talk about it with anybody else because they may get the wrong idea! Im 38 with great family and friend support but its not the sameIve never been without a companion. Staying in bed until someone finds me and they drag me to the hospital? Was your husbands death expected? Nobody has addressed being married to a husband and finding out after he died that he cheated with a coworker the entire marriage or most of itand then you are left to grieve the death and the loss of your life from being cheated on but not finding out until after he died. I feel totally alone. The guilt of the could have, would have, should have, is never-ending & squeezes all of the breath from me at times. This attack appears to be a good example of displaced aggression, as the animal was attempting to attack a dog (like in the previous videos) but the owner intervened. Youll tire of hearing this but Im sorry you both are going through it. I then tried to share the location to board the shuttle. May you find healing and forgiveness. in time I no I noit will feel better Ipromise you that.amen. Dont keep thinking about him being gone, think of how lucky you were to have him. My husband was my life. It is so scary just leaving them there by themselves. She was about 82 when she died, and she was quite at home there. My other son lives in TN, and has for probably 15 years. They've found that people can tell the difference between the purrs, even if they aren't cat owners. I didnt even get the chance to marry my boyfriend. Thanks for letting me rant. I've had kittens I had to bottlefeed. I fully expect to see my sweet husband again and we will love each other even more in eternity than we ever did here. I lost my husband 7 months ago. We were happily married for 54 years and he passed away in December 2019. Today is Fathers Day and Im sitting alone on the porch we both loved. It is awful but now at the 6 month mark for me I realize there is no more us its me and I choose to begin to feel happy again I would want for my husband if the situation was reversedit is not an easy decision by any means but one I needed to makehe is never coming back.just remember any reply I make is my personal choice for.me that does not mean that is the right choice or something someone else should do.. .this grief thing is totally an I individual process not a one size fits all.. Than after the death our beloved 3 yr old cat ate some Lilly pedals off one of the flower arrangements from the funeral and Lillies are toxic to cats and she went into kidney failure and had to be put to sleep. But right now Im finding that hard to understand . I am so grateful for thirty four years of loving this man. Nice things to know, but as "He Shall Remain Nameless" said, cats aggression usually comes from idiot owners. I also feel that I am not on a runaway train And indecisiveness is in a weird way normal. Watch CNN streaming channels featuring Anderson Cooper, classic Larry King interviews, and feature shows covering travel, culture and global news. He died from copd and couldnt breathe at all so the hospital put him into an induced coma. Im glad youre here, Joanne I dont mind you if you vent! I am able to function, and even find joy in moments, but the loneliness is overwhelming at times. But now my doubt has doubts maybe God showed me the way to this page? My husband was everything to me. So, I am "100% stating that"that's your problem, you assume too much. And the only way to do that is to get out there and meet people. How can anyone process that type of trauma? I dont have children or grandchildren but I do have animals and they are the only reason I have to keep going. Will Your Boyfriend's Lack of Motivation Drag You Down? 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